Giving up /reducing booze ....

I'm the typical middle aged man who never really got out of the habit of weekend binges 

I cut out Monday to Friday drinking few years ago but am still well on it Saturday and most Sundays 

The last 5 weeks I have reduced to just 4 medium sized cans of normal lager on Saturdays (I'm a very large man so this is not much for me....maybe less than half what I would normally have staying in or going out)

Reduced anxiety, feel better and skin healthier etc....

Thinking of going mostly not drinking (except say a few times a year if its Xmas and parties etc) 

I don't need to drink but I really really look forward to Saturday nights because of it .....the thought of not drinking saturdays now feels almost like a 'loss' or dare I say it 'grieving'......

Will it be just boring ? 

I love watching RL, RU and cricket with booze  and it's a ingrained that I can't imagine going to a match without it and enjoying it ....I have done that before but it's never as good ...it's not I need the booze it's just I'm sad that something I enjoy as an association won't be there anymore...again I know it sounds weird but it feels like a.weird sort of grieving even to think I am going to do it 

Thoughts? Experiences? 

If you follow George Riley on the socials anywhere he is very good at interacting with people who are having the same sort of connections with booze that you're describing - the not being able to imagine scenarios or events without it.

Godspeed double B. 

Small steps.

If you're only drinking on a weekend - and only mostly Saturdays at that - I'd argue it's not exactly a problem. 

If you want to stop completely for your own reasons, that's entirely up to you. But I wouldn't say drinking only at weekends, even at so called binge levels, is realistically a problem.

I often go days or even a week or two without drinking but if I want to break out and have one or 6, then I will. Life is really to short. (This is not dismissing uncontrollable drinking, which is a separate argument) 

had about 40 days in a row without a drink earlier in the year (you might have noticed a lack of stupid posts on here in that time!) trouble is our social scene revolves around drink - gigs mainly - its always someones birthday - invited to bbq or wedding or just another gathering that revolves around drink - most weekends - if you enjoy a drink have one - these "do gooders" would have you in bed at 7 every night! main thing with drinking is eating - if u have a good tea and a few drinks then its not gonna bother you - if your drinking and not eating then thats when the trouble starts 

all explained here 

Lots of good no alcohol beer (tasting of beer) available now, if the thought of soft drinks is off putting.

43 minutes ago, gingerjon said:

If you follow George Riley on the socials anywhere he is very good at interacting with people who are having the same sort of connections with booze that you're describing - the not being able to imagine scenarios or events without it.

Not on socials (at all except this) but will look it up

17 minutes ago, The Masked Poster said:

If you're only drinking on a weekend - and only mostly Saturdays at that - I'd argue it's not exactly a problem. 

If you want to stop completely for your own reasons, that's entirely up to you. But I wouldn't say drinking only at weekends, even at so called binge levels, is realistically a problem.

I often go days or even a week or two without drinking but if I want to break out and have one or 6, then I will. Life is really to short. (This is not dismissing uncontrollable drinking, which is a separate argument) 

Yes it think this has been my view for the last few years of mostly saturday only drinking but....I'm talking probably 24 units or so on a Saturday would be average with maybe 10 -14 on Sunday 

I don't 'crave' the booze or at least I don't on week days so I'm confident I can say there is no physical addiction 

I guess the reason to cut it out completely is that I think if I say I'll have 4 cans it's very hard to stick to that ....though I have done for about 5 weeks 

I've very recently realised that the effects of the big Saturday binge may well be linked to the anxiety through the rest of the week. Having 4 cans has reduced it but it's just whether I can stick to that or maybe zero is easier to stick to

11 minutes ago, Gerrumonside ref said:

Lots of good no alcohol beer (tasting of beer) available now, if the thought of soft drinks is off putting.

Yep...been on the Guinness zero...it's excellent 

19 minutes ago, graveyard johnny said:

had about 40 days in a row without a drink earlier in the year (you might have noticed a lack of stupid posts on here in that time!) trouble is our social scene revolves around drink - gigs mainly - its always someones birthday - invited to bbq or wedding or just another gathering that revolves around drink - most weekends - if you enjoy a drink have one - these "do gooders" would have you in bed at 7 every night! main thing with drinking is eating - if u have a good tea and a few drinks then its not gonna bother you - if your drinking and not eating then thats when the trouble starts 

Yep..social scene is the same ...though we go out less now which is easier 

Not sure food stops the overall after effects Johnny! Though it might slow the immediate effects

12 minutes ago, Bedfordshire Bronco said:

Yes it think this has been my view for the last few years of mostly saturday only drinking but....I'm talking probably 24 units or so on a Saturday would be average with maybe 10 -14 on Sunday 

I don't 'crave' the booze or at least I don't on week days so I'm confident I can say there is no physical addiction 

I guess the reason to cut it out completely is that I think if I say I'll have 4 cans it's very hard to stick to that ....though I have done for about 5 weeks 

I've very recently realised that the effects of the big Saturday binge may well be linked to the anxiety through the rest of the week. Having 4 cans has reduced it but it's just whether I can stick to that or maybe zero is easier to stick to

Don't put pressure on yourself. I used to (and still do to a certain extent) properly love a beer. I'd be out till crazy hours. As soon as i start saying i'll be back home by x there's a pressure on to achieve that and then ultimately huge disappointment when that didn't / doesn't happen.

Small steps and understand why you want to cut down. 

know an ex hotel manager - she has drunk 2 bottles of white wine a day and smoked 50 fags a day for the last 40 years (that we know of) - hammered the sunbeds as well - shes jetting off to tenerife to party for her 80th this weekend 

knew a guy who was training for the great north run - wouldnt even eat a bacon sarnie - went to the docs cos he felt like he had flu - it was cancer - he was dead 2 weeks later aged 44

dont try to attach any logic to anything in life 

1 hour ago, Bedfordshire Bronco said:

Yes it think this has been my view for the last few years of mostly saturday only drinking but....I'm talking probably 24 units or so on a Saturday would be average with maybe 10 -14 on Sunday 

I don't 'crave' the booze or at least I don't on week days so I'm confident I can say there is no physical addiction 

I guess the reason to cut it out completely is that I think if I say I'll have 4 cans it's very hard to stick to that ....though I have done for about 5 weeks 

I've very recently realised that the effects of the big Saturday binge may well be linked to the anxiety through the rest of the week. Having 4 cans has reduced it but it's just whether I can stick to that or maybe zero is easier to stick to

If you're anxious about something, a few cans won't make much difference to that, there is clearly something else at play. Were you downing a bottle of vodka a day (as I've known people do) it might be different but I doubt a few cans will even register (assuming it is a few cans of course ) 

I suppose I'm lucky in that my job involves a lot of driving and also am subject to drink and drug tests, (Which *are* carried out and people do lose their job over) so it's literally not worth having a drink when working to me. Added to which, at my age I struggle to get out of bed after a few drinks or function properly at work anyway! 

Bottom line is this, if you want to stop completely, do so. But based on what you've said, I wouldn't worry about a few drinks (even a lot) on a weekend. 

26 minutes ago, graveyard johnny said:

know an ex hotel manager - she has drunk 2 bottles of white wine a day and smoked 50 fags a day for the last 40 years (that we know of) - hammered the sunbeds as well - shes jetting off to tenerife to party for her 80th this weekend 

knew a guy who was training for the great north run - wouldnt even eat a bacon sarnie - went to the docs cos he felt like he had flu - it was cancer - he was dead 2 weeks later aged 44

dont try to attach any logic to anything in life 

Exactly right. I don't think you should take it to extremes and perhaps be reckless like that lady in your example but you definitely need to strike a balance between worrying about tomorrow and enjoying today. 

The number of apparently healthy people I've known who've died is growing whilst many alkies and druggies are somehow still alive. Not that theirs is a preferred lifestyle choice. It's unfair and illogical as you say. 

4 minutes ago, The Masked Poster said:

Exactly right. I don't think you should take it to extremes and perhaps be reckless like that lady in your example but you definitely need to strike a balance between worrying about tomorrow and enjoying today. 

The number of apparently healthy people I've known who've died is growing whilst many alkies and druggies are somehow still alive. Not that theirs is a preferred lifestyle choice. It's unfair and illogical as you say. 

exactly - a plumber i know came back from a 46 mile bike ride only last month - felt pins and needles in the back of his head and shoulders - tried to send a text to his gf which was all jumbled text - anyway its a brain tumour - would guess he is early to mid 50s - enjoy your life to the full - somethings gonna get you 

I struggle with gout and a few years back looked into changing my tipple to see if there is an alcoholic drink that doesn't do so much damage. I discovered red wine ! I was sceptical,  it wasn't exactly the usual pub drink with mates, but I've drunk it exclusively for four years now and my gout has receded. Wine is strong, so you have obviously to drink less  to get " buzzed". Recently as it's summer I thought I'd go back to beer and cider , but I couldn't, it seems now so much effort, downing pint after pint. I'm staying on the vino, red wine has certain benefits,  NOT WHITE, because Red is made from the whole grape including the skin which has certain chemicals within it, antioxidants etc. This is from a winery website,  so believe how much of it you want.

41 minutes ago, HawkMan said:

I struggle with gout and a few years back looked into changing my tipple to see if there is an alcoholic drink that doesn't do so much damage. I discovered red wine ! I was sceptical,  it wasn't exactly the usual pub drink with mates, but I've drunk it exclusively for four years now and may gout has receded. Wine is strong, so you have less to drink naturally to get " buzzed". Recently as it's summer I thought I'd go back to beer and cider , but I couldn't, it seems now so much effort, downing pint after pint. I'm staying on the vino, red wine has certain benefits,  NOT WHITE, because Red is made from the whole grape including the skin which has certain chemicals within it, antioxidants etc. This is from a winery website,  so believe how much of it you want.

 

10 Health Benefits of Red Wine

Red wines, which may vary in taste and color, are prepared by crushing and fermenting whole, dark-colored grapes. There are many varieties of red wine, the most common of which are Merlot, Pinot Noir, Cabernet Sauvignon, Shiraz etc.

#1. Rich in antioxidants

Before consuming a red wines you need to know to almost everything about a wine. What are the negative and positive effects it can cause on your health because it is enriched with powerful anti-oxidants. Darker grapes are higher in antioxidants like resveratrol, epicatechin, catechin, and proanthocyanidins. Of these, resveratrol and proanthocyanidins are mainly responsible for keeping you healthy.

#2. Lowers bad cholesterol

Red wines are known to lower the bad cholesterol in your system. According to a study, the high-fiber Tempranillo red grapes, used to make certain varieties of red wines such as Rioja, lower bad cholesterol levels.

#3. Keeps heart healthy

Not only does it regulate the cholesterol levels, but also keeps the heart healthy. Polyphenols, a certain type of antioxidants present in red wines prevent unwanted clotting by keeping the blood vessels flexible. However, it should be remembered that heavy drinking damages the heart.

 

#4. Regulates blood sugar

Resveratrol, the natural compound found in grape skin, controls blood sugar levels in diabetic persons. The research showed that subjects who took 250 mg of resveratrol supplements once daily for three months had lower glucose levels in blood than those who did not. Resveratrol also controls cholesterol levels and systolic blood pressure.

#5. Reduces the risk of cancer

Regular and moderate consumption of red wine can effectively reduce the risks of certain types of cancers such as basal cell, colon, prostrate carcinoma, ovarian etc. Scientists used a dose of resveratrol on human cancer cells and found that it obstructs the key action of a cancer aiding protein.

 #6. Helps treat common cold

The antioxidants present in red wines treat common cold, since antioxidants protects cells against the harmful effects of free radicals which has a strong role to play in cold, cancer and other diseases.

#7. Keeps memory sharp

Wondering how to keep your memory sharp? According to research, resveratrol present in red wines inhibit the formation of beta-amyloid protein, a key ingredient in the plaque of the brains of people with Alzheimer’s.

#8. Keeps you slim

You would be glad to know that resveratrol also helps keep a check on your weight. The chemical compound piceatannol converted from resveratrol reduces the fat cells in our body. According to the researchers, piceatannol fastens the insulin receptors of fat cells which blocks the pathways required for immature fat cells to grow.

 

#9. Reduces the risk of depression

A study carried out on middle aged to elderly people showed that drinking moderate amounts of alcohol daily keeps away depression. People who drink red wine are less likely to be depressed than people who don’t.

#10. Has positive effects on the digestive system

The anti-bacterial nature of red wines has enabled it to treat stomach irritation and other digestive disorders. Wine consumption has also proven to reduce the risk of infection from Helicobacter pylori, a bacterium usually found in the stomach.

does this include buckfast?

2 hours ago, graveyard johnny said:

know an ex hotel manager - she has drunk 2 bottles of white wine a day and smoked 50 fags a day for the last 40 years (that we know of) - hammered the sunbeds as well - shes jetting off to tenerife to party for her 80th this weekend 

knew a guy who was training for the great north run - wouldnt even eat a bacon sarnie - went to the docs cos he felt like he had flu - it was cancer - he was dead 2 weeks later aged 44

dont try to attach any logic to anything in life 

I get the comparison Johnny but it is less about death and physical health for me 

I guess I sum it up for me as...boozing at weekends makes them more fun....but makes the rest of the week a LOT more anxious. (I've only just cottoned this on myself!)

2 hours ago, The Masked Poster said:

If you're anxious about something, a few cans won't make much difference to that, there is clearly something else at play. Were you downing a bottle of vodka a day (as I've known people do) it might be different but I doubt a few cans will even register (assuming it is a few cans of course ) 

I . 

My Saturdays were not just a few cans...more like a full bottle of spirits or 2.5 bottles of wine.........doing just 3/4 cans now (last 5 weeks) but worried it'll slip back 

I have a fairly stressful job and youngish kids so have the normalised worries....but I think the big binge drinking was making my anxiety abnormal longer than just the day after hanxiety...last 5 weeks that has reduced a fair bit

If I can stay at a few cans at weekend it'll be ok I guess....

2 minutes ago, Bedfordshire Bronco said:

My Saturdays were not just a few cans...more like a full bottle of spirits or 2.5 bottles of wine.........doing just 3/4 cans now (last 5 weeks) but worried it'll slip back 

I have a fairly stressful job and youngish kids so have the normalised worries....but I think the big binge drinking was making my anxiety abnormal longer than just the day after hanxiety...last 5 weeks that has reduced a fair bit

If I can stay at a few cans at weekend it'll be ok I guess....

Yep sounds like you've already taken steps to get it under control. Good luck 

10 minutes ago, Bedfordshire Bronco said:

I get the comparison Johnny but it is less about death and physical health for me 

I guess I sum it up for me as...boozing at weekends makes them more fun....but makes the rest of the week a LOT more anxious. (I've only just cottoned this on myself!)

yes - this is known as hangxiety - its like the hangover period and the craving of the brain period combining and confusing you - like a come down after the weekends boozing 

11 hours ago, graveyard johnny said:

know an ex hotel manager - she has drunk 2 bottles of white wine a day and smoked 50 fags a day for the last 40 years (that we know of) - hammered the sunbeds as well - shes jetting off to tenerife to party for her 80th this weekend 

knew a guy who was training for the great north run - wouldnt even eat a bacon sarnie - went to the docs cos he felt like he had flu - it was cancer - he was dead 2 weeks later aged 44

dont try to attach any logic to anything in life 

There are always outliers but all the science suggests to improve your odds of a long healthy life you should take care regarding what you eat or drink.

My father was also an outlier. He died from smoking related lung cancer in his 30s.

Earlier this year I cut back to 2 or 3 drinks a week and only on Fri-Sun.

One drink can be a pint or a half pint… in my system it’s all one drink regardless of size and I won’t go larger than a pint (ie jug).

I’ll also now ensure it’s a quality brew so as to not waste my 2 or 3 drink quota. If I drink a rubbish beer I’m annoyed with the waste.

It was hard to start with but I’ve been pretty stubborn and have stuck with it.

My health has improved, my weight has dropped, my bank balance has improved and I no longer feel like I need a drink to relax. I’m no spring chicken these days and the path to a healthy older life is starting to narrow.

Interestingly, the urge to drink no longer buzzes my mind. It’s now a pleasant treat rather than a necessity.

Best of luck with it!

13 minutes ago, Copa said:

There are always outliers but all the science suggests to improve your odds of a long healthy life you should take care regarding what you eat or drink.

My father was also an outlier. He died from smoking related lung cancer in his 30s.

That is unusual and very tragic, sorry to hear that. I have never smoked, cannot stand it but I have relatives, 2 cousins. One never smoked (maybe experimented as a kid) and the other like a chimney since 15/16. One of them died of lung cancer in their early 50's. 

It's not as unusual as you might imagine. IE healthy person drops dead instead of self abuser.